I'm out of touch with my emotions. So I keep rambling like a monkey without a head, or is that a chicken with out a head. Seriously nothing I say makes sense to me. Is it any way to journal when I'm simply being self analytical about myself. I won't even allow myself to feel for christ sake. Why does this happen to me

whatever dealing with it. More pressing stuff going on. Getting to it atm.

I'm alone. I'm depressed, I've never felt so alone in my life, perhaps I have always been this way, but it hasn't hit home in this way before. I literally have no one to reach out to, no one who knows me history is any longer in me life. I have left my friends, and leading somewhat of a lonely life. I wish my friends cared more, but its turns out we were never really friends to begin with. 10 years of that, how else am I supposed to feel right now.

I'm sorry to my self, for ignoring myself so much, my own needs and feelings. I'm sorry for the way I have treated myself. I feel so alone in this world. And it feels like there is nothing in this world that can rid me of this loneliness I feel.